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1. I am a projector and once finding out about human design I took a look back at when things went smoothly in my life, Jobs etc and always when invited into the space. It is a tricky to find work as a Health Coach and LIfe Guide but I am learning to trust what I know and go with it.

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   1. Hi Cynthia, I did the same thing when I learned I was a Projector and was amazed to see how well the invitations turned out in my life and career and how hard it was when I wasn’t invited. Yes, doing business as a Projector IS tricky but it is doable. You’re on the right track with trusting yourself and going with what feels good. Be sure to wait through your emotional wave if you are emotionally defined (Solar Plexus Center–large triangle on right–colored in). Thanks for your comment!

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   2. I am a coach and having a hard time getting clients. i then found this human design thing and i guess i am connection the dots. i hope its doable or maybe idk what to do anymore. i am good at helping people but God I wish i had a better sign right now.

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      1. The best thing would be for you to have a Reading. In the meantime, here are some suggestions. Before Projectors can be invited, they need to be recognized.  How can people find you? Let people know what you’re doing… not like trying to sell them on your services, but as an offering that they or someone else might be interested in. Can you partner with people who have complementary businesses?  You can learn about the Human Design Readings I offer here:  https://www.humandesignforsuccess.com/human-design-services/  .  You also might gain insights from my course Success for Projectors:  https://www.humandesignforsuccess.com/successforprojectors-homestudy-info 

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      2. I can relate, and before realizing I am a official projector I went against myself and how i naturally work for over 14 years! Now after 2 years and 2 months of rigorous coaching programs all for generators and like-energy individuals. I am taking a step back and learning more about Human Design to implment it into my own guidance programs.

         all it takes is for us to get REAL GOOD at something perhaps take this time to focus and be at peace .. believing in you!

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2. Wow. Now I see why my children listen to their father (a generator) over their mother, me, the Projector. So a Projector parent has to wait until their child solicits advice and Projector parents should not freely dole out advice to their offspring.That puts a whole new perspective into parenting.

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   1. Hi SK, being a Projector parent is tricky. You of course need to do what is appropriate as a parent (setting boundaries, etc.) but don’t be surprised when some of it isn’t received well. A softer approach, and inviting and encouraging rather than commanding, usually works best. Also be sure to factor in the Type and Strategy of each of your children: ask Yes/No questions to the Generators & Manifesting Generators, invite the Projectors, inform the Manifestors, and be gentle and patient with the Reflectors. Hope that helps!

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   2. I would honestly say that as a parent my messages are always more clear when I start the conversation, “so this happened and we need to talk about it. Are you ready to have a conversation on why this was not okay?” Even if they don’t really want to be lectured, they have to invite you in and understand what the approach is at that point. But if I just come in hot and lecturing, it’s ignored and never sticks and is likely to turn heated or emotional. Obviously, lecture to the age and you probably can’t really ask permission until they are cognitive enough to understand the lecture. Under 5 is more redirect and simple short time outs for us, after 5, logic and reason need to come in play.

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3. I am a Projector in relationship with a Projector….. and the concept of waiting to be asked is quite complicated in this scenario, but frequently we do ask each other for advise and when we do it works beautifully. The other dynamic is that men, in general, seem to feel if they sense a question that they are being asked to provide an answer and do so automatically (which probably makes being a male Projector easier than a female) Females, in general, prefer to talk out their experiences before asking any questions and get irritated by getting answers to questions they haven’t asked…… or is that just my experience?

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   1. Hi G, inviting each other and waiting to be asked before giving advice and suggestions does seem to work well in a Projector-Projector relationship, from my own experience as well. I think there is some merit to your observation of men vs women. But it is definitely also influenced by Type and by other energies in one’s chart so the generalization may not always hold true. Thank you for your comment and please keep us posted on how things are going for you and in your relationship in particular. 🙂

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4. I am pondering alot about this sounding board business: I am a mental projector (head and anja defined, one channel 64-47). I have always used people as sounding boards and now that I know a little about HD it all makes sense. However, now in the midst of my deconditioning process I find I am uncomfortable with this “use” of others. I am pondering the theme of “need” in relationships and “giving and recieiving” and “control”. I perceive that my use of people in this way is draining to them and this troubles me. Am I maybe talking to the wrong people? are they maybe not equipped to be sounding boards? How can I satisfy this need of mine to “talk it over” without getting pulled into a negative place? It doesn’t feel right to me any more, but I see how it helps me clarify. I am a little confused. Thanks for any advice.

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   1. Hi Jenny, I appreciated your wording of “I perceive that my use of people in this way is draining to them.” The first place I suggest you start is checking in with them to see if your perception is correct. Could be that they’re fine with it. If not, you might ask if there is a way it could work better for them, for example, maybe setting a specific time to talk that is convenient for them. Also, make sure you are returning their generosity by being there for them if/when they need any support. This “sounding board” interaction can (and dare I say, should) be comfortable for everyone involved. Reaching out to new people (maybe a support group for Projectors) might also be helpful. Please let us know how it goes for you, and thank you for your questions.

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      1. Mental projectors need to understand that they dont need people to listen to themselves talking because a Mental projector only needs to hear him/herself talk out loud to bounce ideas on and off and see by how the way they talk if one idea fits better for them.
         Mental projectors when they solicit people around themselves following their mental strategy can be very draining for others who are the recipient of their mental energy. That’s why a mental projector might have more trouble to be well received by others, especially when they are surrounded by Generators who didn’t ask for their advices.

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   2. Hi Jenny! I am a mental projector as well, and feel this also! I am just now noticing how much I need to talk out and how that energy is actually a bigger issue in my relationship than I thought. I felt like if I’m in a good relationship then naturally I thought it would be a safe space for me to openly think. Not the case, obviously. I’m now trying to figure out what that healthy balance is between using someone without there knowledge or even my own, to sound board out, and communicating something that I’ve already sounded out… Big difference. I’m also looking for people I’m able to trust to just be an objective listener, who can recognize me as an individual doing something that is really healthy for my ability to function with my decision making strategy. Sometimes I’ll literally just put a camera on and talk my own ear off so that I can hear myself that way. It’s just hard because people take what you say so seriously, where for me talking and thinking is how I figure out where I’m at. Like sonar… Lol. I definitely feel like it takes a lot love, care and genuine recognition from the listener to understand and support you without having to internalize anything that was said. Good luck out there! The other 2% mental projectors. I would try too listen , but I’m always to busy talking. 😉

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      1. Hi! I am a mental projector as well. Totally relate to what you describe. I am finding myself quite isolated with not many people to be my sounding board at the moment and sometimes I still go to the wrong people or don’t communicate in advance what I need and then get rejected or criticised. I am very sensitive to this, even if it is just one impatient comment in a longer conversation from a person who does care, all I think about afterwards is how defeated and misunderstood I feel because of that one comment. I have to remind myself that what comes so naturally to me, i.e. listening openly and patiently to others doesn’t come naturally to everyone else and that sometimes people get impatient or turned off in one moment, let it go and then move on. they don’t even remember it, whereas I am hurt from feeling their irritation with me. It can be difficult to see through people the way I do whilst being so sensitive. It is what has turned me into a hermit for a while. I think for me it’s about widening my social circle and making new connections. I rarely reach out to people to talk things through because of this fear, creating a kind of catch 22, where I have left it so late I really “need” that person to be sensitive and caring and then when they’re not, I resist going to them again next time. Sorry for the ramble, I guess this is a version of me using you as a sounding board. lol! I have also spoken to myself in the mirror and used voice notes to hear myself back as well. It works quite well! 🙂

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         1. Hi Sarah and Kiara,
            haha! I just love what each of you shared. I am also a mental projector so of course I totally get it. I would like to be able to not “need” other people as sound boards so much. I only have like 3 – 4 people that I do this with … but, they get tired of me I think. lol! I am always there for them though when they need. Reciprocity is so important to me; it’s something that I look out for in any new relationship.
            Anyway, just wanted to say thanks to the both of you for your great ideas on what you do as alternatives to hear yourselves out. Going to do this next!
            Hopefully you are both in the facebook group that Evelyn is an administrator for — Human Design Projectors.

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            1. Thank you, Regina. All Projectors (and those who love Projectors) are invited to join the Empowered Projector Movement Facebook Group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredprojector/ It’s a great place to share your experiences as a Projector and get support and ideas!

   3. Hi Jenny!
      fellow mental projector here (single definition, 2/4).
      It’s been a few years since you raised this question of “using” people as a sounding board. I am curious as to how you have been living your design in this respect since then. any advice or stories?

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   4. Hi Jenny! Fellow mental projector here, very taken by this site and it’s available information. I have learned that the sounding board does not need to involve others all the time or even consistently. This varies depending upon if your throat is defined or not, but it does not heed to be. Basically, sounding board means you have to process the decisions/things you have to make and process by in taking it as outside stimuli, because your brain and ajna work reliably well in concert for you that you can depend on your own system for critical thinking and wisdom. The most important part of it is that you get it out of your head. You can do this by writing in a diary and going back to review and reflect from a remove. I did this through childhood and didn’t realize I was using my authority effectively then. Another thing you can do is record yourself talking a problem/dilemma/decision out and then come back to listen later, as it will be at a remove. It doesn’t need to be formal— just functional. Hope this helps!

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5. Evelyn,

   I have enjoyed your insightful and practical articles, thank you!

   I was caught when Jenny said as a projector she ‘perceives’ the use of others as a sounding board is draining to them. Is this something that is a common projector need to have others listen to what is going on in them? Are the projectors then asking for feedback or to be quiet and listen?

   Is the ‘talking potentially draining’ because the projector wasn’t invited or is it that the person they are speaking with isn’t into what they are into at the moment.
   This subject is most interesting to me. Thank you for any insights you can provide.

   The other comment is that I thought projectors were to be there for others and provide guidance. if a projector is in a process of ‘talking things out’ to a manifestor who likes to put ideas into action work work effectively?

   thank you!

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   1. Hi Marie, great questions. Projectors do need to talk things out, but best done with friends who are open and willing to listen–not with Manifestors or others who aren’t into listening to the Projector right then. Feedback from others can be very helpful, but often the Projector gains clarity just by talking….they discover how they truly feel (or figure things out) as the words are coming out.

      I think this process is “potentially draining” to others if they haven’t offered to listen, or if the Projector simply doesn’t know when “enough is enough” and talks for way too long! Best if friends say something like, “Looks like you’ve got something on your mind…want to talk about it?” If the Projector just starts talking without being invited, it might not go well. Second best is Projector saying something like, “I’ve something I’m working through and really need to talk about it. Would you be willing to lend an ear?” and make sure it’s a convenient time for the listener. Hope that helps!

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      1. I am a manifestor and love to listen to others. I have many close projector friends, hence being on this page and reading the article, so that I can get to know them better, be a better friend, and learn how to invite properly. Not exactly sure why you said “not a manifestor” but I am assuming this is a stereotype.

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         1. I am a manifestor and definitely understand what she meant. I’ve found (and I might be wrong on this but hear me out) that female manifestors are better “listeners” than their male counterparts just by the nature of femininity, but this definitely doesnt mean male or just manifestors generally don’t do well in relationships. A manifestor can make their relationships their “mission”. It also depends on what “kind” of manifestor you are, emotional/ego/splenic. But generally speaking a manifestor is too busy “going” and “doing” to listen because their energy is in a process of being manifested so the mechanics can be very irritating to the manifestor if they are not initiated correctly ie a projector initiating very deep and penetrating observations without being invited…just makes me cringe thinking about it. the manifestor will feel anger because of this incorrectness, the projector will feel bitterness/anger/rejection/anxiousness/inferiority, and the generator frustration/anger of incredible proportion. I havent been fortunate enough to run into any reflectors yet. Manifestor auras are usually very self contained so they can be in their own world but that doesnt mean they are alone. As I go deeper into design I’ve learned there are definitely other elements that add a lot of variety to manifestors as well so this is no attack at you, you are who you are. Like Evelyn stated above, when I invite projectors to speak I am WAY more receptive to the message even if strangely enough they would’ve said the same thing before the invitation so it adds a whole element to my life of “exercising” that initiating muscle when it is very common for that muscle to be shut down (NOOOOOO!!!!) from feeling overwhelmed in their open centers dealing with others/dealing with the reactions from others to their instinctive nature and then the habit accumulates of not initiating at all when their aura is not designed to operate from that stance as people will work them like generators and/or become drained by projectors until they develop unhealthy complexes and relationships. I know that was a lot, but design has helped me to take my life as I can see from my childhood how the susceptibilities have been there all along playing themselves out all the way up to me learning design essentially being in a state of rejection. i could just be being a bit dramatic but that has been my experience

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            1. Love human design and love finding a good human design website! Just rereading my last comment and realizing the tools design has given me to create my life.

            2. Kyle,
               Thank you for adding so much to the conversation about Relationships with Projectors and especially your thoughts on the Manifestor/Projector Relationships. Cindy, Assistant to Evelyn

            3. Yes, thank you so much Kyle for the depth and wisdom you brought to these conversations!

      2. As a projector, I’ve learned to understand my Generator friends ‘tells’. The ‘tell’ of when they are done listening. It’s like revoking the vampires invitation into a humans house and when I feel that (and often hard), I take that as my queue to move on to something else and turn the focus onto them.

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         1. Diane,
            Thank you for your observation about a Generator “tells.” As a generator, I found it very interesting and observant of you. Cindy, Assistant to Evelyn Levenson

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         2. Diane,
            I SO appreciate the vampire analogy! I’m a projector and I used the same analogy to explain my type to my husband (ala True Blood). When an invitation is revoked it does feel super dramatic; and when I share before receiving an invitation, it’s like running into a wall- it hurts! I now better understand why hearing “Nobody asked you” (even if it’s just energetically) is so hurtful to me. Slowly learning to wait for that invite and keep my thoughts to myself until then. 🙂

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      3. I’m new at this and as a projector I’m learning it is really important now to recognize the fact on being invited. This recognition has made my relationship with both my daughters (Who are both manifest and mg) turn into a positive experience. I used to drain them with unnecessary conversations that led us all into exhaustion mainly because of not recognizing my invitation. Now I’m quiet until being invited which works out well in all areas. I used to feel bitter and unloved which led me to depression many times especially when a loved one died. I didn’t learn about HD until recently when my very best sister friend passed away. My daughters already knew and learned about their HD. They knew I needed to be heard but from our past experiences of exhausting one another I chose to remain isolated and protect myself from rejection from them due to our past encounters. They introduced me to HD and we learned I am a projector. All is well now and I am still learning harder than ever of my newfound knowledge. In fact, I joke with them now when I see them running around crazily. I remind them that I’m open for invitations anytime. We laugh about it and I get taken up on my offer much later. But it helps me to be still and quiet at the right time. It also helps me to go back tending to myself and my grandchildren the way I want to.

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   2. My brother is a mental projector and he will call me and literally talk nonstop for 45 minutes without even asking me how I’m doing. It really has caused a lot of strain in our relationship because on my end it comes across as him not caring about me at all. The mindset for me anyway it’s like “ oh my God if this guy cared about me he would at least be curious about how the hell I’m doing and not just wanna talk about himself all the time!!” We struggled with this for years and years and years. Once I learned about human design and his type it made sense, but it still is quite draining and frustrating to be on the receiving end of all the time. I think it would be helpful for mental projectors to give 10 minutes 15 minutes or so to the other person to let them talk about what’s going on in their life and then do the verbal vomit lol just my two cents because it is a lot to be on the receiving end of!!

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6. I’m a projector female in a relationship with an MG male. We often struggle with our strategies since mine is to wait for an invitation and his is to wait to respond. Any advice on this pairing?
   Also, I’ve heard that it is important for Projectors to sleep alone. Since this is mostly not feasible, what are alternatives/suggestions around that? Thank you!

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   1. Hi Nicole. Best advice for your combination is for you to give him things to respond to and ask him yes/no questions, and for him to remember to invite you…even to little things. Also, you remember to wait to be invited or asked before offering advice, suggestions, guidance, opinions. Both be respectful of each other’s energies and how different they are. Don’t try to keep up with him. He shouldn’t criticize or judge your energy. Re: sleep, go to bed before being tired and consciously discharge energy from your open centers, especially Sacral. Also, take a little alone time during the day, if you can. Good luck! Hope this helps.

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7. I am a 2/4 mental projector female with no inner authority and right angle cross of explanation. (ill try not to get windy) 😉 I am in a relationship with a 3/5 splenic manifestor with the right angle cross of rulership. We have been friends for many years, now lovers. He is a conditioned manifestor however, as he is not fully aware of human design. Open to it, but not in the experiment. have you seen manifestor / projector relationships work? If so, what is your advice? Blessings!

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8. This truly is amazing. I’m a manifesting generator with a projector and everything on here is so accurate. He gets on my nerves so much whenever he tries to tell me things and I’m not in the mood to listen which ends up with him getting pretty upset because no one listens to him haha! I’m glad though he’s pretty open when I showed him human design. I don’t think he’ll look it up on his own but he seems interested whenever I bring it up and hopefully it will significantly improve each other and our relationship. 🙂

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9. I’m a manifestor with a projector wife, and things are so bad when she’s unhappy. So bad that she tries to control my energy, to stop me from doing things. It looks like she’s a malicious person, but I know that inside is not like that. For the last 4 years since we’re rising 2 kids, she’s unhappy all the time even that she wanted the kids smooch. He complains all of the time that she’s not usefull at all, but I tried to many times to tell her that things will come back to normal, that she will find a job soon(she’s a tennis coach). I earn enough money to sustain the family, but maybe she needs her satisfaction I don’t know.. She’s open ego. My mentality is that this is my body and I can do whatever I want with it as long as I don’t involve her in my stuff. My logic mind found out that that all of this stuff happened when she’s unhappy. She analyzes all the people around, family etc, and bothers me with her thoughts. She’s not so communicative at all. I tried all the things to communicate with her, and to know her problems, but she’s a black box. I don’t know what to do. If any projector can give me an advice of wha to do it would be great.

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   1. Hi Geo, thanks for sharing your situation. What I know is that Projectors need recognition and appreciation, and sometimes need help with the energy-demanding things in life like raising children. She may be struggling with her energy or just with being a mother. Not all people are wired for raising kids. It doesn’t mean they can’t, but it may not feel natural and fulfilling the way they hoped it would. Honestly, the best thing I think you could do would be for each of you to have a personal reading then have a relationship reading together so you would first know yourselves deeply then see how you impact each other. And also factor in the charts and impact of the children. I have a Human Design colleague who specializes in working with couples with children. I’m happy to put you in touch with her, if you’re interested.

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   2. Appreciate her thoughts, they’re insights and incredibly useful! She’ll feel acknowledged.

      Let me explain:

      I’m a projector and I analyze people and things around me and often communicate it back to the people that I must trust like my husband who is a manifestor.

      I notice and analzye people to understand them. If I understand them I can predict them (both in their response in words and action).

      I do these things because they prove to help me and those I care about in future situations.

      It helps us to know things in advance at lightening speed as we know the options at hand for how scenarios could play out based on a previously established understanding of the people involved. This has and does give me (and my husband) great advantages in a variety of contexts both in my personal and professional worlds a like. Having valid insights allow you to act swiftly, decisively, without guilt and with much confidence.

      I suggest thinking more deeply about how these insights gives strategic legs-up to people against others like an opponent or how they lessen the odds of making big life altering mistakes.

      Remember that you said that though and be sure to bring it up later as she’ll remember and resent you for saying so if you don’t.

      Lastly, and if you really aren’t in the mood when she starts with her thoughts next time, Id suggest saying something like this: “I’m not sure about that as I didn’t pick up on it, but my brain is full right now and I want to hear your take but can’t listen with my full attention right now, so do you mind discussing later?”

      FYI I just came across HD types literally tonight so apologies on such a long response I’m suddenly fascinated!

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10. I am a projector and my boyfriend is a manifestor, things were great in the beginning because I got that invitation from him right off the bat it felt like. We had such open communication about everything so there was never a need to argue and when a small issue did come up we’d keep to ourselves for a little bit and then come back to each other and the issue would be resolved itself in no time. In the last couple months some internal issues have come up for him which has caused him to crawl into his shell (he’s a cancer). I realized recently that for some reason he has withdrawn his invitation and the hurt from that in almost unbearable. How does a projector go about handling a situation like that? He’s slowly opening back up but I still sense him pulling back when I try to talk about personal issues between us.

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    1. I wonder too – how does a projector withdraw from bad relationship?

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    2. Hi Amber, sorry for my delay in replying. Withdrawal of invitation/recognition/love is very painful for us Projectors. The best I can say is to remember to not take it personally (sounds like HIS issue that caused him to withdraw) and know in your bones that you are valuable, lovable and worthy whether he expresses love for you or not. Relationships can be challenging for Manifestors, so be patient with him. I would highly recommend a Relationship Reading to help you both understand the issues—and the harmonies—in your relationship.

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11. Hello all,
    I am married to a projector with a spontaneous recognition.
    She has a gift for good taste – both food and style.

    It takes a while to recognize a projector and their specific gifts.
    I tend to listen to what they say and actually do it.
    Works well so far.
    All the best for you!

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    1. I totally understand. I am a generator married to a projector. I have also found projectors have special gifts. Thank you for sharing. Cindy, Assistant to Evelyn

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12. Curious to know why I, a Manifestor, seem to have so many close ties with Projectors. I ran off charts for people that have touched me most in life and they are mostly Projectors. One long term relationship (16 years) with a Projector dissolved when I showed him the door for using me and my resources (in gambling) for so many years. That was 10 years ago and he is still hounding me. I have moved so many times and he finds me again and again and does NOT wait for an invitation. So, there must be something about me that attracts Projectors or something in Projectors that I need in life. I am high, high energy. I see the need in Projectors for attention, be it via health issues, being the center of attention etc. But, Human Design is making me wary of Projectors in my life. Fascinating stuff!

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    1. I am a manifestor as well and also bring in projectors and have many close relationships with them. It feels to me that without the constant sacral thumping there is more peace and connection. Because you know, we pull the sacral energy in and amplify it back out with the generators. Also, in my experience, generators seem to do this tight knit group thing, and I don’t know about you, but it’s not really my thing. With projectors, I also feel like they need their down time and I do as well. Some ponderings on it!

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       1. Michelle,
          Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. As a generator, it always benefits me to see how the manifestors and projectors process the information. Cindy, Assitant to Evelyn Levenson

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13. Hi, I’m a 3/5 projector female in a 7 yr relationship with a 2/4 projector male. First I can’t begin explain how in love and happy I am with this person. I see complete beauty and light when near him and everything is brighter and more intense… he is my life partner and best friend.

    Lately we are unable to communicate in either side, neither can seem to hear the other and what we do hear hurts… he’s just so upset about everything and I’m upset in response and it’s creating a vicious circle we can’t seem to find our way out of… I’d do anything for this person and since I learned about this my life made more sense so once found out we are both projectors I thought maybe someone out here would have some advice…

    This is the person I see at the end of my rainbow, the sun in my moon and starlit sky. Any advice would be wonderful.

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    1. Hi Nyx, thanks for sharing your situation. It sounds like something got triggered, which is usually about past experiences and old patterns, or something current is unresolved (and un-communicated!). I have two suggestions: 1) Get a personal Reading for each of you and then a Relationship Reading so you understand yourselves, first and foremost, then understand and know how to improve the specific dynamics of your relationship together. For example, the 3/5 Profile has a very different life process than the 2/4. They can work beautifully together….if they understand and support the differences, but it can be tricky without understanding and patience. And this is true for all aspects of a chart…not just Profile! 2) This is outside Human Design, but I recently came across a book that’s been out for many years and I’m VERY impressed with its ability to improve relationships…it’s called The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I highly recommend getting the book and figuring out what each of your love languages is, and then start “speaking” in that language to each other (that will make sense when you’ve read the book). Sending all my best wishes to you!

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14. Hi, thanks so much for all your articles here, very helpful (especially happy to read the ‘next best approach questions’ in this one)

    I’m a 5/1 projector which I found out a couple of years ago and am still slowly testing and experimenting with what that means, particularly the idea of waiting for the invitation, what constitutes and invitation, and what needs an invitation.

    I wonder if you have any thoughts about what level invitation is required on in order for best results for a projector. For example, if I’m in an ongoing relationship with someone is it still recommended to wait for invitation before communicating or visiting them, or is the establishment of a relationship an ongoing invitation to do so?

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    1. Great questions, Jym. You’re doing exactly right, which is to experiment with what works and doesn’t work for YOU. In my experience, a specific and personal invitation (written, verbal or physical) is the most powerful opening for a Projector. But remember to only the accept the ones that feel fabulous to you. Second best is what I call an energetic opening…when flow happens, things fall easily in place, and there seems to be momentum in a particular direction that also feels fabulous. Invitations are only crucial for Projectors for the big choices in life, like career, job or money opportunities, marriage, business relationships, and where you live. For all else, follow your bliss and do what feels good. In an ongoing relationship, there often is an implied invitation, but I still find it useful (and very respectful) to make sure the other is open to advice or a visit before taking action. The Projector energy can feel pushy and/or annoying to others even within a relationship. Remember, it’s not YOU, it’s your inherent configuration. Being respectful helps enormously. In a Reading, we would explore the whole “invitation” issue in much more depth…but I hope this helps you for now. Best wishes!!!

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15. Hi
    This has been a very valuable article for me to read now.
    I am a manifesting generator and have an intimate friendship with a projector. I have a defined sacral centre, while he doesn’t. All along, for more than a year, our relationship has been great with a few challenges off and on, that were resolved quite easily. I have received immense gifts from his ‘seeing’ and perhaps been one of the few who has seen his gifts, appreciated them and allowed myself to be opened up by his seeing. Recently though, we had a bit of a misunderstanding over an issue, where I went against his seeing and suggestion, after agreeing to it and following through partly. Something happened in the moment that made me simply follow my inner guidance. We still haven’t resolved this issue, as I feel he is blaming me and he feels I am blaming him. And so we are stuck! The few times after this happened and we talked, I felt him being pushy and overpowering, kind of insisting that what he was seeing in me was right. That energy was unsettling and I simply withdrew. I made a decision to stay away for a while and look at this whole thing in a different light, and try and understand him better. So here are the questions that came up for me and I would be happy if they could be answered:

    1. If I have a defined sacral centre, then doesn’t it mean that I will follow my gut, and in the moment? Then how do I deal with suggestions given by Projectors? Do I have to justify my decision or change in decisions?
    2. What kind of inner work do Projectors have to do to change this energy that they bring with their gifts? Is it true that we (outside) always project our fears and issues onto Projectors? Or are they simply unable to see what issues they have, without someone projecting it onto them? How do we as outsiders know the difference? How will they know the difference?
    3. How do projectors have to deal with their gifts not being received in the way they want it to be received?

    Reply

    1. I think projectors, with their observational/guide-like stance can create an interesting dynamic because they are “seeing” you and you are feeling “seen”. With that symbiotic sense of things it CAN be painful when their suggestion is rejected (but the relationship felt like their invitation). I’ve seen this process happen to my father and mother and he, as the projector, never quite got over the pain and she as a pure generator never acknowledged that she hurt him and their relating at a very fundamental level. I think in time he overcame the bitterness but still felt rejected for his talents. As a manifesting generator it’d be interesting to see what you can do because you’re so focused on improving your relationship! You’re half manifestor!

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    2. Hi Priya, those are GREAT questions and observations. Not possible to address them all here, but I am planning to teach a course FOR and ABOUT Projectors (but open to everyone) and will use your questions in the section on Relationships. If you’d like to be added to my list so you get notified of the course (and other resources), simply request my free report here: https://www.humandesignforsuccess.com/free-report-opt-in/

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16. Hey there,

    Thank you for the great article and helpful replies. I’m a 3/5 Projector dating a 5/1 Generator and most of the time, our relationship is wonderful. I feel like he makes a lot of mistakes (breaks things, has a hard time holding down a job, in a lot of debt) and I get frustrated when I can clearly see how a certain impulsive decision will play out in the future. He invited me to move to this city with him and sometimes I fear it was a mistake though in the moment it felt right!

    ugh
    Natalie

    Reply

17. Hi there,

    I’m a gay emotional Projector in a relationship with another male emotional Projector. I’m still amazed at how we ended up together because we both initiated getting together and both waited to “feel” wether or not we should stay together. We’re very happy but can get very argumentative (I’ve never argued with another person so much in all my 36 years of life!)

    It’s interesting that when the 2 of us try and organise social events with our friends, that things don’t pan out as well as the ones we get invited to that have been initiated by others. We are both at interesting crossroads. He is 18 years older than me and contemplating moving to the coast for a less hectic and more relaxed lifestyle, and I am a creative person stuck in an unhappy corporate job, but I know that I have to wait for a creative invitation before I can leave my current job – despite how unhappy I am.

    Reply

    1. Bruce,
       Thank you for your response. Isn’t it amazing when you know your strategy – “wait to be invited” how things work out. Cindy, assistant to Evelyn

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18. Hi Evelin and Kyle,
    All of this share life experiences are very helpful.

    I am 3/5 projector, with Emotional authority, and i think this combination amplifies the effects of a rejection. I am in 2 years relationship with a 6/2 generator with sacral authority and many previuos marrige issue to fix, and for that he is often hard to reach, or better say he rarely ‘invites’ me in his life.
    It has been helpful to read the reccomandation to ask him yes/no questions and requiring a ‘sound/guts’ answer rather then a verbal/mind answer., and I will try to put in in place, but here is my dilemma?
    How can I ask him such ‘tag’ questions if not invited to do so? and I can I share my own dubt and need sto be invited without sound needy?

    I saw some suggestions in your article, but we don’t live together and I don’t want to ‘set up an appointment’ to share my feeling, so when we see each other as a result of his invitation I don’t want to ruin the chance to have some great moments….

    I am very confused and feel stucked.
    Any advice would help.

    Thank you.

    Reply

    1. Hi Ena, Projectors do best when invited into BIG things in life, like career choice, job, marriage, business partnership, and where you live. You don’t need an invitation (though it helps to be recognized/acknowledged, but not required) to ask him questions. I suggest you share with him that you’re just learning that it helps you to be invited and included by him, and that you asking him questions will probably help him know himself and his preferences even better than he already knows them. All of which will help your communication with each other. I hope that helps. If he’s not open to this info, there may not be much you can do but be as true to yourself as you can, and keep asking him yes/no questions. Good luck to you!!!

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19. I am a 3/5 Projector with Ajna-Throat-G. Self Projected (the sound boarding ‘know it all’ type). I had a reading and in it was told that a relationship with (ideally another Projector) would benefit from having a channel to the sacral centre. I have met a friend who lights me up (I noticed it the first time we met a year ago ish) and finally with his permission looked at his HD chart. He has Spleen-Root-Emotional Centre and is a 2/4. Together with our hanging gates we light up all the centres between us. Our one defined sacral channel is the 5-15. My 15 gate to his 5 gate. My HD reader said this was the one channel that was very hard to live in relationship and to avoid it. What advice can you offer? My P friend and are not in relationship, but I am really drawn by him and likewise him to me.

    Reply

    1. Joanne,
       Thank you for the comment about Projector to Projector Relationship. I do know that we are drawn to people that help complete a channel for us. It is an electro-magnetic attraction. Again, thank you for sharing. Cindy, Assistant to Evelyn

       Reply

20. Oh, boy… I am a 3/5 emotional generator (right angle four ways cross), very interested in a 1/4 no authority projector (right angle consciousness cross). Am I asking for trouble?? :-/ Is there any way to make this work (fun, joyful — we are both too old for (and too experienced at) arguing. I’ve been there with a 3/6 splenic manifestor (x tension); and my projector crush has been the (male) victim of domestic violence) or should I just let it go before it hurts both of us? 🙁

    Reply

    1. Barbara,
       Thank you for your questions about having a relationship with a Projector. As a generator, have you been following your strategy? Have you asked your Sacral whether this is a good relationship? As a Generator, you have the ability to use the Sacral Response can help you make your decisions. Cindy (assistant to Evelyn)

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       1. Thank you for your reply, Cindy. Yes, I have asked my sacral. The answer I get feels positive. There’s this warmth, this comfort, that comes over me when I ask — an expansion (good sign). I don’t think (though I can’t know for sure) I’ve ever dated a projector, so I am not sure I truly understand the consequences. But it feels so calm. What concerns me is, will it be TOO calm? Right now it doesn’t feel that way, but, after reading about the two types, I wonder, will I be waiting for some stimulus to which I can respond, while he is waiting for an invitation? And we both sit on our asses, waiting? Will he be there directing, while I resent his direction as I work my ass off? At this stage, it ISN’T that way, but, in the beginning, it’s always good (or there wouldn’t be a beginning, right?). He hasn’t directed me. He owns his own business and works like a dog and loves it. We are fascinated with the goodness and compassion and caring and intuition of the other. And when the dust settles, can a Projector and a Generator work happily together or will it always be work (and maybe more work than we can even imagine at this point)?

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21. I am a 4/6 projector with self projected authority and a right angle cross of ruler ship. Defined Head, Ajna, Throat and G Center with all the others open. I am currently struggling with needing to shut other people’s anger out of my system. My father is dying and my mother and siblings are all very angry. They all express it differently, but non the less, as I am now trustee of my parents estate and trying to get my mother and father situated so that this transition can be more peaceful. I have been doing my best to stay positive and loving through the turmoil that the brother is causing by hating the rest of us and his using his manipulative, hostile, temper tantrums in blaming and attacking our entire family verbally as well as in court. The law suits that my brother continues to file against us all while having been supported financially by my parents for more than 10 years, his anger, fear and hostility. My sister is also very angry but expresses her anger through sarcasm and manipulation.

    I refuse to be dragged around and influenced by their anger and entitlement attitudes anymore.

    At the moment, having been through nine months of submersion in this very dysfunctional and dramatic situation, a story much to long to tell here, and been introduced to Human Design, I am seeking answers on how to protect myself from all of them.

    I have taken the past 4 days to do nothing, and am not wanting to get back into “the boxing ring,” but I am required to do just that in the next couple of days because of the responsibilities that my mother and father invited me to take on.

    Any suggestions other than the use of white light and cocoons, keeping distance, etc that might be helpful that I can utilize in the midst of the responsiblity I have been given to deal with this crisis that I would much rather “mentally” run away from.

    Thanks in advance.

    Reply

22. My question is…. How do projectors work? I’ve been making natural skincare products for the last 14 years but have not been successful at it. I love creating and making them but I don’t usually have the energy to do all that is required for running a business. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 15 years ago, which makes sense being a projector, but makes getting things done hard. I recently started making colorful hanging hearts that I’m really enjoying making. Sooo..is it possible for a projector to be successful in these types of endeavors? I don’t know what to do. I’ve run out of money, or I’d have a reading, about to lose my house. Any advise or insight would be so helpful.
    I’ve been on a spiritual path for about 19 years and just recently learned about human design. I’ve been with my husband for 23 years who is also a projector. Were both splenic and our relationship is struggling! Thank you again for any insight!!

    Reply

23. Hi Jan, you definitely have a tough situation. There is a lot to be said for white light, cocooning, and keeping distance! But those will only take you so far. The best thing you can do is to tend relentlessly to your mindset and your self-care. Envision yourself at peace and gracefully and effectively handling all you need to handle. Do everything you can to take great care of yourself and your energy throughout this process. Don’t take anything personally. Your siblings are being driven by low expressions, not-self themes and conditioning. When you see that they just can’t help doing what they’re doing right now (and they are clearly in emotional pain themselves), it’s easier to have compassion for them and develop your own teflon skin so their actions and anger don’t impact you as much. Wishing you strength and courage–which you’re clearly already demonstrating!

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24. Thank you for the invitation to comment. I am an emotional 3/5projector in a relationship with a splenic 1/3 manifestor. I have 3 questions: Since we dont live together and meet only on weekends is it o.k to sleep together? 2. Since I have started this experiment I find myself waiting for him to initiate a conversation and since he is used to me doing all the talking he is so happy from this new situation. I do my best to be quiet but it feels like in an abusive relationship having to be preety and quiet until he needs me for something. What about things that I need? What about important things that I want to discuss? The third question is regarding my work. I am a teacher and there are 24 pupils in my class. Due to my aura I guess I can,t reach all the pupils. Due to having to wait for an invitation it seems imposible for me to guide or teach pupils since I am there against their will. Is there a way to be a successful teacher as a projector? Thank you so much for this chance to ask these questions I hold inside for so long.

    Reply

25. i thought that this article would be about what to do in a relationship with a projector??
    all the other designs have a what to do bullet point section except the projectors one?

    Reply

26. wheres the ‘if you love a projector ” bit?????

    Reply

    1. Hi Kaya, sorry about that. I had written that article first, and in the subsequent articles added that section. Here is a quick version of If You Love a Projector:
       -Don’t expect their energy to keep up with yours
       -Ask them for guidance and for their input/opinions
       -Value their wisdom and their help
       -Make sure they feel recognized and appreciated
       -Be a sounding board for them, without giving advice (unless they ask for it)
       -Be patient with them; especially know that they really want to help… it just may not come across well
       -INVITE THEM! and make them feel welcomed
       -Trust their sense of timing for themselves.
       I hope that helps. Thanks for asking!!

       Reply

       1. Thanks!! I was wondering about that… (I’m a 1/3 projector married to a 3/5 generator).

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27. Hi I am an ego projector (man) , I have not been in an intimate relationship for more then 5 years , I have been waiting for an invitation but being that I am a man I don’t get very many invitations ( woman like the men to initiate ). I am very well above average looking , 6’1′ 200 lbs and fit as a fiddle , financially self made and very smart , too smart for high school , I quit high school at age 14 but still became well off by the time I was 30 years old and I also found the time to travel and live outside my Country for 10 years . It does not seem like the human design advice is really working for me in the intimate relationship department . To be more specific about the invitation process … for many years I have waited for a direct invitation …never got one , but since most info I read online is not fully explained I though… maybe the human design stuff means a projector should wait for an energetic invitation from the opposite sex ( woman in my case ) i.e. Eye contact , body language etc . Needless to say I have pursued those energetic invitations with no luck . Some advice would be much much appreciated. Thanks Matthew

    Reply

    1. While it’s true that the Strategy for Projectors is to “wait for an invitation”, in general that applies to the “big” decisions in life: career, marriage, moving cross country. It’s not necessary to wait for an invitation to buy a car, or update your Facebook page, and it’s okay to extend an invitation to someone for a casual meeting. The energetic invitations you described can give you an “opening” to offer your invitation as well. Bear in mind, however, that not all invitations work out, and even though a Projector receives an invitation it may not be the correct course of action. If you’d like to explore these themes in more depth, you may want to consider a private Human Design reading, that includes the totality of your chart in the context of your questions. You can find out more about readings here: https://www.humandesignforsuccess.com/human-design-services/ ~Robin, assistant to Evelyn

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28. I am a MG in a work relationship with a Projector who is incredibly bitter and voices constant frustration with not being heard at our company. While I completely understand her bitterness, the constant barrage of bitterness and negativity is becoming very toxic for me. And because she does not accept help or advice, I feel powerless to help her improve her situation. I did introduce her to Human Design because my son is also a projector and so I have a lot of experience with how challenging it can be for them (and others!). I figured it would spark some recognition, but she really pushes away all help. She seems to just thrive off of the negativity and instead of looking inward for answers and “fixing” whatever the issue is, she would just rather complain about the issue. I’m a fixer, if there is a problem I always look for the solution. But she would rather wallow in the problem endlessly. With the hours we both work, we are the only two in the office and so there is literally no getting away from it unless one of us leaves the job. But right now, this job is really perfect for me in terms of the hours and the amount of time off I have to do things that I enjoy like study Human Design! So I’m trying to figure out how to change the dynamics of this situation and would love some advice! Thank you!

    Reply

    1. How difficult to be in close quarters with endless bitterness and a repeating soundtrack of complaining! It sounds like the direct approach of educating her about being a Projector hasn’t fallen on fertile ground, so here are a few thoughts about indirect tactics. From a Human Design perspective are there ways for you to set up invitations and recognition for her, so she has an opportunity to be heard? For example, “Mary and I were talking about that the other day and she had some good ideas. Would you like to hear what she has to say?” Projectors who feel unheard may indulge in inappropriate was of getting attention, i.e. endless complaining. It might shift the pattern some if you give her recognition when she’s not complaining, and even withdrawing attention when she’s on a rant if needed. As a last resort, perhaps you could play itunes with earbuds in 😉

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       1. Thank you Evelyn! I will definitely have to chew on that for a while and come up with some ideas. Interestingly, my 16 year old son is also a projector (which means I deal with this at work and home! 😯 they are so similar, well, its rather terrifying that he could end up like her. He has always struggled and so I’m going to be trying to apply those lessons to him as well and see if I can move him out of his bitterness. He sure is a tough nut to crack and trying to figure out how to move him forward without telling him what to do is well, a conundrum! ha! Maybe that is my lesson and why she is in my life right now, to help me understand the road ahead if I can’t figure out how to work with his energy better. Thank you again!

          Reply

29. I’m a 6/3 self-authority Pro female in a relationship with a 2/4 mental pro man. I have head, ajna, throat and G defined while he has only ajna and throat defined. Together, our composite charts reflect that we define head, ajna, throat, G, spleen, and root but still have solar, sacral and ego/will open as a couple. I’ve read that each designs does better in relationship with their own design and by far, this relationship we have is the healthiest and easiest, as well as most peaceful I’ve been in. We communicate so openly and genuinely care about each other as individuals.

    I’m curious about us not defining the sacral; what does this mean for us in the intimacy department? Is it “necessary” to have the sacral defined when two Pros come together in order to have a spicy, juicy, passionate sex life? Thanks in advance for your comments!

    Reply

    1. It sounds like you have a wonderful partnership! In my experience, there are no hard and fast rules about which types are compatible with each other, or about definition in the composite chart. We can be influenced by the energies of others, and by the movement of the planets through the Gates of the chart (also referred to as transits). So even though you do not have sacral definition between the two of you, there will be times when your partnership has sacral definition due to transits. Another strategy if you would like a bit more sacral energy is to go to a public place and draft on the energy of the Generators and Manifesting Generators in the vicinity. The good news is that Open Sacrals have unlimited capacity to express sexual energy in a variety of ways… so it can be as spicy, juicy and passionate as you want it to be (as long as you have the energy for it).

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30. I never hear anything about Projector and Projector relationships. Can a Projector deliberately recognize another Projector to both their benefit?

    Reply

    1. Projectors can definitely thrive in romantic and business relationships with other Projectors. Ideally, the general energy is one of “invitation”, with the invitations going in both directions. And for the big decisions, each Projector should invite the other, and each should independently evaluate whether the invitation feels right.

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31. I am a projector. And now understand myself better 😀 I would love to have coffee with another projectors. It might be very interresting

    Reply

    1. Hi Veru, There is something special about being seen by other projectors! I have a program, Healing the Projector, that is just for projectors. It’s such a powerful group doing significant self-healing work! You can find out more about the program here: http://humandesignforsuccess.com/htp-interest-list/

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32. I had a really magical year last year where so much waiting paid off. It was like a game of dominoes and every domino being knocked down was a big ‘YES!’ moment in my life. I then started to feel like I needed time and space away from the environment and social situations as they were starting to drain me and I was just starting to feel bitter about the social rules and environmental brutality I was seeing. Being alone and gardening was feeling amazing…with yoga and looking after myself. But now, suddenly I just feel so down, lost and directionless. I’m in a relationship with a person that when I met I KNEW I was suposed to meet. But I don’t know what to do anymore and am feeling overwhelmed. Obviously I don’t want to continue feeling this way because it’s not great for me, or the people around me. But relying on invitations I just don’t know what to do. Should I be spending more time in more social places in the hope I manage to invite some new invitations into my life? How can I do that when the situations to meet other people are so hard for me to currently navigate? Any advice from the outside would be so appreciated. Thanks.

    Reply

    1. You’ve experienced first-hand the power of invitations this past year! That is SO exciting for a Projector, but it’s not possible to successfully “engineer” invitations. I’m also sensing overwhelm and burnout behind your question. Doing the things that feel good to you, doing the things that restore you, and following your interests is more likely to help you be more “invitable” than pushing yourself to show up in social places that drain you. For further specific application to your situation, I invite you to consider a personal Reading. It’s simply the best way to understand how to navigate your particular and unique life.

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33. Hello. Can someone please just tell me (only if you KNOW), whether or not Projectors need an invite to travel? I want to get my certificate and teach in Thailand. I have always wanted to go. I am still not quite sure about this.. Thank you so very much.

    Reply

    1. Traditionally, Human Design has taught that things tend to work out best for Projectors if they are invited into the big decisions in life, especially if other people are involved. But if traveling is what you love to do, you can follow that urge on your own (following your Authority), without waiting. Similarly, you can study a topic that appeals to you, without waiting for someone to suggest it to you. Major career moves may unfold most smoothly if there is an invitation. That being said, many Projectors have had the experience of applying for a job, and as a result, receiving an invitation to something better! So my best advice is to follow what feels good to you, and be alert to opportunities and invitations that come along in the process.

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34. Hi! I love all these amazing comments and discussion on human design. I am a projector emotional authority I forget the right angle cross and 4/6. I am studying fashion design and I am dealing with a lot of energy type teachers and students… it’s like the motto is work work work all the time and sometimes it feels as though it’s never enough work. I am trying to pull away from the desire to please my teachers, but at the same time I need to keep up with the curriculum. I try to take breaks during the day but I am still learning how best to manage my energy, honor myself, and stay true to myself around all these energy types who don’t fully understand. I know I am at the right place for myself and though it is a rigorous curriculum, I am pursuing my passion and taking the steps necessary to learn my craft. Wondering if you have any tips on honoring oneself as a Projector in a workplace full of Generators and energy types. Also don’t know if you know about soul groups but I am a blueprint originator. Love the article. Thanks for sharing <3

    Reply

    1. As you’ve discovered, a big challenge for Projectors is learning to leverage energy. To an extent, you can “draft” along on the workforce energy of all those Generator types and be very productive when you’re in a group setting. Just know that pushing yourself when you’re alone will be counterproductive. It can help to have a variety of projects to work on, depending on what’s suiting your enthusiasm and energy level at the time. Other factors in your chart can influence your optimal work style, as well. Projectors can be incredibly productive when they’re using their energy correctly. Based on my experience in college and in working with students, it’s probably everyone’s experience that “it’s never enough work”. Your ability to discern the best actions in the moment, given your available energy, will help you make the most of your work time.

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35. We don’t try to manage anyone intentionally. We try to prevent the mess that they are going to make. The mess that will affect us.

    I find that the manifestors and manifesting generators are the worst because they expect everyone to be like them. Both my parents are manifestors and my brother that makes a mess constantly is a manifesting generator.

    We projectors need to get away from those who don’t see us.

    Reply

    1. Ah, if only everyone knew their Type and followed their Strategy, and knew and honored the Types of those around them. Manifestors are in their own creative flow, and hate being interrupted with guidance, however well intended. And Manifesting Generators skip steps (make a mess) by design. It can be hard to watch, for a Projector. A life lesson for the Projector is to learn to be intentional about managing others’ energy, and to offer guidance only when it is invited. Without that invitation, the Projector is just wasting time and energy, that guidance is likely to be rejected, and it’s easy to take that personally. May all Projectors find the ones that value them!

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36. This comment, submitted by Verena on Sept. 23, 2018, disappeared before I could approve it, so I’m re-posting it:

    Hi Kiara! This is very interesting to read! I am a Manifesting Generator in a
    relationship with an as you say “mental projector” (only head & ajna defined). I didn’t know until now that he obviously has to talk a lot about “facts” (this is how it feels to me) without the need to get a proper “factual” answer all the time. This is why I quite often find it so exhausting to be in that relationship it feels as if I am using up all my energy and attention for “my” projector and cannot just be independet now and again. Well, don’t know though if he is using his energy correctly and also haven’t figured out my desing properly I suppose.. 😉 feels I might have a strong manifesting part maybe that makes it even harder to listen all the time because listening quite often is reacting/responding..?

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    1. Reply to Verena: Since your partner’s definition is in the Mind, that is what he will talk about! In order to get their energy activated and moving, Projectors need recognition… like an invitation to share their opinion. When Projectors don’t feel recognized, they can “act up”, be demanding, or try to be in the spotlight to get that attention and recognition they need. You might find more ease in your relationship by inviting your Projector to share his thoughts before he shares, and recognizing his wisdom (when appropriate). That could decrease his need to “talk a lot” to get your engagement. Part of your strategy is to inform… so telling him when you need some alone time may help, too. You might also find a Relationship Reading helpful. (For more information, see: https://www.humandesignforsuccess.com/human-design-services/custom-human-design-reading).

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37. Hi, I am Mary. I am a projector with splenic authority. I just wanna know If I can decide when and how to do trips.
    I like to travel but I am not sure If I have to waiting for an invitation also for travel.
    Related to find a job, can I looking for a job for me or I have to wait?
    Thank you

    Reply

    1. Ideally, Projectors should have invitations for the big things in life: careers, moving cross-country, getting married, and especially for things that involve other people. You can independently decide to go on a vacation, if it feels good to you. If you’re going with a friend, you can plant the seed and see if there is inviting energy for the idea. For example, “I’ve been thinking of going on a Mediterranean cruise. Does that sound like fun to you?” “Oh, yeah! We’d have a blast.” (An invitation is implied.) Sometimes Projectors seem to get fewer responses when they apply for jobs, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apply to jobs that feel good to your Spleen. Sometimes an application leads to an invitation for a different and better opportunity. In between, while you’re waiting: keep doing what you enjoy, be where you can be seen and recognized, build your skills, and focus on feeling good!

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38. Hi, I am female projector with splenic authority, married for 7 years to a female Manifestor with G authority .. Its been very challenging, and since learning about Human design it has brought some clarity to me so I understand more why I upset her so much, and have learnt to move out of her way and not to interrupt her with any of my wisdom. We currently sleep apart which has worked well for us both, but moving on, any tips?

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    1. In Human Design, we tend to focus on our own Strategy, that is: Projectors should wait for an invitation, and Manifestors should inform people who will be affected by their actions. What is talked about less commonly is that Strategy can go both ways. So, Manifestors like to be informed. Instead of asking or inviting your wife, you could try informing. Manifestors often respond more easily and accurately to statements rather than questions. For example you might say something like, “I’m interested in seeing that exhibit at the museum. I’m wondering if you’d like to go.” People with undefined Sacral Centers often do sleep better if they are not sharing a bed for sleeping. A Relationship Reading could give you insights into how the specific Center and Gate definition in each of you could be interacting in the relationship, and how to support each other according to your designs. You can learn more here: https://www.humandesignforsuccess.com/human-design-services/

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39. I am new to human design and am still figuring it out. I am looking for suggestions to help me better parent my children. I am a single mother of four and have discovered that all five of us are projectors. Does anyone have suggestions of how to better parent?

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    1. Congratulations on learning about your design. For Projector parents, the most important thing is to use your energy wisely. Projectors can burn out if they are over-worked… and parenting counts as work ;). Projectors tend to sleep better if they lay down before they’re tired, so an early wind-down time in bed may help the kids and you to get a good night’s sleep. Projectors thrive on recognition, and children sometimes develop “unhelpful” or annoying ways of getting attention, if they’re not getting that recognition. So try to give small, frequent doses of recognition and validation to each child. Avoid overscheduling. Projector kids often need a lot of rest. And remember that it takes a village… do what you can to get some time for yourself to restore your energy: arrange play dates for the younger ones, hire in help, even a few hours of a young teen-aged “mother’s helper” while you’re at home can help take the pressure off.

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40. I am confused. How can Leonardo Davinci be a Projector? This type began in 1781. Thanks.

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    1. Great question, Joy!  This information was from Zeno’s list of celebrity charts at http://www.humandesignsystem.com/archive/celebrities.php.  Before 1781, the bodygraph had 7 centers, and not the 9 centers we currently experience.  Zeno ran a modern chart for DaVinci using his birth data, which showed a Projector configuration.  I’ve not been able to find any information on what the circuitry was like on a 7-center bodygraph. So I think any conclusions about charts before 1781 are questionable.

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41. Thank you for this. I’m looking for information about how to improve my relationship with the Projectors in my life, especially my father and my best friend. Regarding my father, it was not easy when growing up, feeling like he had this very pushy, aggressive energy which was far from pleasant and so I became quite defensive against this type of energy. He has only Spleen and G-center defined (I have none of those, also I’m an MG). In the same time I’ve always felt that there is a sensitivity and depth to his character and a mystery that perhaps will never be understood. This article helped to get the basics, I’m also interested to get deeper into the subject.

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    1. Learning about Human Design brings many people to a place of self-understanding and acceptance.  As an additional bonus, we often find greater appreciation for others as well.  You might be interested in a Facebook group I moderate for Projectors and people who care about them: https://www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredprojector/.  For more specific information, I’d suggest a Relationship Reading. You can learn about the various Human Design Readings I offer here: https://www.humandesignforsuccess.com/human-design-services/.

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42. I just realized HD and that I’m a projector with splenic authority, 1/3. These are things that work for me:

    – Talking to myself. I talk to myself in the shower and driving. It just helps to hear things out. My husband overheard me doing this recently and thinks it’s weird and hilarious, but I love it! It’s a way to hear everything, as many times as I need to, and while not worrying how others are reacting to listening to me.
    – Seeing a therapist! If you have health insurance and can… The perfect soundboard who is literally there to invite you and make you feel welcome.
    – Of course, only talking to people who I truly trust if I must… That I know will listen and have my best intentions. You can’t just go spilling everything to just anyone.

    I’m married to a Manifestor and it works because he’s very much so a great communicator. He invites me, all the time, to talk. From the very beginning I told him how important it was for me to be with someone I could talk things out with. I’m not sure if he remembered that and took it to heart, or if he is just like this. I do know he’s very driven to put a lot of effort into everything, including us. Been together for 6 years. I’m also pretty good at asking for what I want, so he knows what I need to feel good.

    Be careful to not burden loved ones with rambling all the time! You do deserve to be heard and listened to though. Seriously though… I know it sounds weird, but try the talking to yourself thing!

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43. I’m a generator and I’ve been in a relationship with a projector for 7 years. Last year he asked me to marry him. Was that okay for him to do? Or should I have been the one to ask him since this is a big life decision?

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    1. How has it worked out? People have been entering into agreements for thousands of years without knowing about Human Design and Strategy! Did you know about and follow your sacral response then?  Ideally, if you had a positive sacral response to his question, you could have invited him so he could use his own Authority in response to your invitation–to complete the process.

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44. Hello I am a splenic projector ,
    My work life is going well, doors are opening.
    I do find it challenging to rest and get resentful I don’t have energy.
    I have a great partner but he doesn’t really value or ask for my advise, it’s hard to shut my mouth when I can see things clearly , I need to learn this.
    I am finding it hard to make friends, I think I need to go to open events and see who is drawn to me, friendships often are wrong for me as come away drained. I find it lonely as don’t have good friendships and been projector I can’t just go out and get them

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45. Thank you for you writings. Your analyses saved my relationship with my son who is a 10 yr old projector and I am a generator. Listening better to his wishes has really improved our relationship just in 2 days. I see how happy he is. He has 2 sisters one a manifesting generator(oh boy) and one a generator and his voice has often not been heard well enough. So thank you for thorough and useful explanations❤️

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    1. Rosa, I am so glad to hear that this information made such a quick and profound difference in your relationship with your Projector son. Brava to you for implementing it. What a difference you just made in his life!

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46. Somehow, I can't imagine Barrack Obama having to ask for permission to speak, Or hima waiting for Michelle to invite HIM… Same for Steven Spielberg, Abraham Lincoln, and John F. Kennedy. They are leaders… How can such leaders be a projector? I'll declare war on you… but only if you invite me too? Please help me understand.

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    1. Once a Projector has correctly stepped into an invitation (as presidents do when elected), she/he can take all action needed that relates to the invitation/responsibility. I expand on this considerably in my book, Becoming an Empowered Projector https://amzn.to/3vZjF9Q

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47. Thanks for sharing your insights. Question… With Generator and Projector relationships, where one is waiting for something to respond to, and the other is waiting for an invitation, how do they ever come together in a way that keeps them both in their authentic design? I had a challenging relationship with a Generator where I would often feel so frustrated, rejected and then bitter because I felt I had to initiate everything and really wanted to be invited more. Specifically, be invited into the big stuff like a loving relationship in a clear and direct way. I study HD, so often asked questions, but there was not a lot of action or "doing" on the Generator's part (waiting on life to come their way so they can respond, perhaps?). How does a Projector feel honored and like they are walking in their authenticity AND honoring a Generator's design as well?

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    1. In this situation, reciprocity is important. Generators give their most accurate answers if they are responding to a Yes/No question with their sacral response. Responding to a question is as valid as responding to something that appears in the outside environment for a Generator type. And Projectors access their decision making through evaluating an invitation. In an ideal world, the Generator would invite the Projector, who would ask the Generator if that’s what he or she wants to do. Or the Projector offers a question to respond to and the Generator issues an invitation back. If your partner is not experienced in Human Design, you can attempt to coach them toward inviting you, “It feels really good to me when you…”

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48. I noticed that my ex will not talk to me unless I ask for help in some way.

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