Energetically, it is correct (and usually beneficial) for couples to sleep separately… especially if they are a mixed-Sacral couple.
A mixed-Sacral couple is when one person has a Defined Sacral Center (Generator or Manifesting Generator) and the other person has an Open Sacral Center (Manifestor, Projector, or Reflector).
Here’s why it’s good for them to sleep apart, at least some of the time: the Open Sacral person needs time away from the consistent Sacral energy of their partner, especially while sleeping, to restore their Open Sacral Center to its natural open state. Often the Open Sacral person doesn’t sleep well next to the buzzing Sacral of their loved one–even if the Defined Sacral is sound asleep!
Ideally each of us should have our own private space for sleeping. But that’s not always practical. And what about all the snuggling and other good stuff???
At the very least, try sleeping apart just one night a week and see if it makes a difference for the Open Sacral person. A Projector client recently shared with me that she started sleeping apart from her Generator husband one night a week since her Reading with me a few months ago. She has been amazed at how refreshed she feels when she does that–despite sleeping on a somewhat uncomfortable sofa!
Another Projector client has been sleeping separately from her Manifesting Generator husband for a few years now (since they first learned about Human Design) and she says it makes a HUGE difference in the quality of her sleep.
Make sure you convey to your Defined Sacral partner that it’s not personal that you want/need to sleep alone sometimes. And be sure to get plenty of quality snuggle time with him or her in between!
If you are a Manifestor, Projector or Reflector, try sleeping alone some nights… you might like it!!!
P.S. I am friends with a dear couple—a Manifestor and Projector combination. Even though they both have Open Sacral Centers, their composite Gate energies Define the Sacral within their relationship. And they find sleeping separately to be crucial for their well-being. They’ve been doing this for three years and love it (and are still very loving with each other… it hasn’t diminished their ardor at all!)
P.P.S. If you’d like to find out more about how your energies connect with your loved one, I invite you to consider a Custom Reading where you each have a one-session Basic Personal Reading, then we do a Relationship Composite Reading for both of you.
I welcome your comments below!
Hi Evelyn, what about two projectors? My partner & I couldn’t imagine sleeping apart! Cheers Lisa x
Hi Lisa. I understand!!! For you two it would depend on whether you define the Sacral together in your chart composite. My partner and I (we’re both Projectors) do NOT define the Sacral in our composite but I still generally sleep better alone. The Sacral is not the only energy that affects us from other people….we are affected by everything in another person’s chart. So I would say to sleep together if you sleep well together and wake up rested and refreshed, but also try sleeping apart once in a while and see what that’s like for each of you. Thanks for your question!
Hi Evelyn, thanks for the reply. Actually how does the sacral get defined in the composite if both sacral’s are undefined? Is it because of gates? You can see I need more learning! Anyways its a funny thing as until I met my current partner of 15 years (longest relationship I’ve had) I couldn’t sleep in a bed with anyone else! Huge issues of needing space and separateness in those close confines. It took me great attention and intention to break through this huge fear and took a few years on and off to feel completely comfortable. I put this down to my mother who was ultimately a very needy person and had much unrequited love in her life with my father. Wasn’t obvious at all but I could feel it most of my childhood until she died when I was 19.
So having found someone I feel soooo at ease sleeping with, I am not really wanting to not sleep in the same bed lol! But am open to it to see the difference!
So love your blog and my growing awareness of HD!
Lise xx
Hi Lise, Glad to hear you found someone to be that comfortable with! Yes, a Center gets defined by the Gates. If each of you has a Gate that together form a channel that connects to the Sacral then the Sacral gets Defined in your relationship, even though it’s Open on your personal charts. The easiest way to see this is on a Composite chart which I provide with a Relationships Reading. The best way to get a Relationship Reading is via a Custom Reading (3 sessions) with me where you would each have a session about your personal chart, then we would do a Relationship Reading session using the Composite chart. I would love to work with you in this way!
Excellent article! Thank you, Evelyn.
Thanks, Gloria. 🙂
It works well for Generators, too. And makes a difference for certain children.
Yes, great point. Thank you, Ulrike!
My husband and I are both Manifesting Generators with the head and root open. Our differences in terms of centers however, are that I have a defined Spleen and he has a defined Ajna. Since my Ajna is open, if I sleep with him, my mind goes a mile a minute! Sleeping apart, especially during the week, allows both of us to be more productive. He was a little taken back when I suggested it about a year ago but he is finding that he sleeps better as well. 🙂
Thank you for sharing that, Amanda. Really useful.
There’s something to this sleeping apart in this sacral situation… even the most adoring XXoo partners.
It certainly seems to be true! Thanks, SusanJoy.
Evelyn,
After three decades of sleeping together (with a generator), this is not going to be easy, but I am going to try it one night a week. We spent a year apart once and I noticed needing less sleep so I think you are on to something here. As a wellness coach I see how this could help many people. Thanks!
Thanks, Gwen, and keep us posted on how it goes and what you notice.
Hi Evelyn
Most designs change their types during sleep, as only 15 Gates exist during sleep. This results in a different body graph, the dream rave. Most generators become reflectors for example. At least this is what Ra taught.
Bruno, Thank you for your insight. If many people become Reflectors, wouldn’t that also mean it would be important to be in your own energy field? Cindy, assistant to Evelyn
Hi Cindy, yes, absolutely, I would agree.
Thank you for sharing this! I am a projector who sleeps in a bed woth 4 generators!!!! No wonder I’m exhausted???? I have been a strong believer in co-sleeping, natural, gentle parenting. Now that I’ve found Human Design I am curious about how this works for small children? I would love to sleep alone a night a week and will definitely try to.
Jen, Thank you for your comment about sleeping separately and projectors. I would definitely recommend trying to sleep alone at least one night a week. I am a strong believer in co-sleeping and natural parenting having raised my daughter that way. After learning about sleeping separately and allowing a projector to fully restore your open sacral to its natural open state. Let us know how it goes. Cindy, Assistant to Evelyn
Hi Karen, apologies for delay in approving your comment–was away on family business and wanted to reply personally. I welcome your perspective and am genuinely happy for you to have found your twin flame in this lifetime. The advice from Human Design is that everyone benefits from sleeping in their own aura, unaffected by anyone else’s aura and energies, so they can restore and rebuild their natural energies. It comes from an energetic perspective, not an emotional or spiritual one. But most of us don’t sleep alone, for many reasons. You have very compelling reasons to sleep with your husband and I respect that. I’m a firm believer in doing what works. If that works for you, absolutely do that. Please understand, though, that while this advice may feel wrong for you, it’s not necessarily wrong for others.
Dear Evelyn (and Cindy)!
Thank you for touching this subject. I am a Projector with two centers defined (throat and third eye). Unfortunately, I experience the opposite.
I sleep soundly with my Generator- partner. Once he is working on night shift, it all changes.
No matter what, if he is not there, I spend nights sleeplessly. I just feel EMPTY, but the sleep doesnt follow even though Im tired. I know it has to have something with common with my design, so the question is:
Do you have any tips for me? Why do I feel so? Can I possibly restore my sleep without risking many sleepless nights in a row, thats something most of us cannot afford…
I would appreciate any tips.