Have you ever told someone you’d do something and then either forgotten about it or were somehow not able to honor it?
That’s a classic lose-lose-lose situation. When we make a promise or agreement with someone and then don’t keep it:
- we usually feel bad about it,
- the other person often is upset with us,
- plus our reputation in the world (not to mention our self-esteem) usually suffers from it.
The Challenge
I recently participated in a 3-day personal growth workshop where the importance of keeping our agreements was explored. Part of our homework was to keep ALL of our agreements for 30 days.
Right. No problem, I thought. I consider myself accountable and of high integrity.
It wasn’t until I actually got very conscious of EVERY commitment, promise and agreement I’ve made lately, both formal and casual, that I saw I have some issues here. I was surprised.
The worst area was in promises to myself. Those are the easiest to blow off. And it’s easy, but dangerous, to be oblivious to the self-damage that this does on so many levels.
I’m sure I’m not alone in all of this. 😉
So, what’s the solution? Not make any promises or agreements?
Well, actually—energetically speaking—that is a correct solution for the large majority of us! Allow me to explain.
Will Power Energy
One of the nine Energy Centers in Human Design is the Will Center (also sometimes called the Heart Center or Ego Center). It is the source of our Will Power energy.
Will Power is the energy to make ourselves (or compel others to) do things that we (or they) didn’t really feel like doing.
Here’s the interesting part:
a large majority of the population
DOES NOT HAVE INHERENT WILL POWER!
This seems rather ironic in our “pull yourself up by your boot straps” and “go manifest your destiny” society! We value and reward Will Power.
Yet so few of us have it.
Those of us who don’t have it can and do take it in and amplify it (it is an Open Center for most of us), so we “borrow” it and can use it temporarily but we don’t have it consistently.
That’s Good News and Bad News
The good news is that it lets us off the hook! At least it explains why most of us have such a hard time keeping all of our promises.
The bad news, and the question that my clients are always asking me, is….”so how am I supposed to get anything done if I can’t rely on Will Power?”
Fortunately, Human Design gives us the answer.
If You Have Will Power …
If you have a small red triangle just right of the middle of your Human Design Chart*, then you HAVE Will Power energy and it is energetically correct for you to make promises. You have the inherent Will Power to help you keep those promises.
Making and keeping promises, agreements, commitments, etc. serves to strengthen your self-esteem and your personal power and value in the world.
If You DON’T Have Will Power…
If the small triangle just right of the middle of your Human Design Chart* is white, then you DO NOT HAVE consistent Will Power energy. The way for YOU to get things done or to stick with an exercise or eating plan, etc., is to follow the STRATEGY that is specifically correct for your Human Design Type.
That Strategy is shown on your personal Human Design Chart*, it’s explained in the special report that comes with the Decision Maker’s Kit that I give away on my website, and it’s covered in depth in a Full Human Design Reading with me.
*If you don’t have your Free Chart and Free Decision Maker’s Kit, click here.
There isn’t room in this post to cover the Strategy for each Human Design Type, but I will devote future posts to discussing them.
In the Meantime …
If you do have Will Power in your Chart, carry on making promises and keeping them. Also, go easy on the rest of us who are not designed to “just do it” like you are. And please don’t try to extract promises from us, then judge us when we fall short on them. But also recognize that your Will Power energy does empower the rest of us when we’re near you.
If you don’t have Will Power in your Chart, please stop beating yourself up about promises not kept and start being super selective about the promises you do make. Whenever possible, avoid making any promises or commitments at all (seriously!). No sense in re-creating the lose-lose-lose scenario we started with. And ALWAYS use YOUR Strategy and Authority for making decisions and commitments.
I do not have a defined will center! Having said that, I do own my own business and have (thankfully) for many years! A lot of that “staying power” has been because I have learned to exercise my “commitment muscle” as I like to call it. In my line of work, I can not, NOT be my word. I wouldn’t have repeat business if I didn’t honor it. So I try very hard to back up what I say I can do, not get in over my head and not promise things I can’t deliver. I have found it’s OK to call in backup when you need to. That exercise each time for each client/project helps me to “bring that into” my personal life. I’m not always 100%, and when I’m not, I just call myself on it, if I “screw up” I let the person know. If I can’t make a commitment because of an emergency/weather, I also keep people in the loop. It’s like anything, if you don’t use it you loose it. I try to keep that integrity in my personal as well as business life. We’re human, and we’re not perfect and I try to remember that when others fall short. Not everyone is always great at honoring their agreements. I try not to take it personally. It’s how they’re designed. 😀
Thanks for your comment, Mona. Yes, remembering that we’re ALL human helps us to not judge ourselves and others so harshly. What Human Design teaches us about energy and individual energetic configurations makes it possible for us to rise about ‘taking everything personally’ and see the larger patterns of personalities and energetic interactions between people. And that makes it SO much easier to relax, allow, and follow Strategy — rather than struggle, resist and be upset most of the time. The first way is much more fun!
I’ve been studying Human Design for a year now and so much of it rings true for me EXCEPT I keep reading about this supposed inability to keep a promise that is indicated by the Open Will Center. I have this center open and honestly fulfilling my promises is one of the things I have always done best, I don’t even have to think about it. I can’t recall a time I have let anyone down in this regard. I don’t commit in the first place if I don’t think I can follow through therefore I probably agree to less initially than most people.
I’ve always put this innate dependability down to having the Moon in Taurus and Taurus Rising. Can zodiac signs trump open centers in interpretation? Or is there some other channel or gate that trumps the Open Will for the ability to follow through on promises?
😛 I do have a defined Ego center and have noticed that I only make promises that I can keep. If I don’t believe I could keep the promise, I don’t make it. Of course listening to my Splenic Authority does help!
I have a defined Will/Ego Centre…….Im also very Tribal……Im very committed to my “tribes” more so than to my Self 😥
Marisa, finding the right balance for yourself will be your key to happiness (and sanity!). And remember that “balance” is something dynamic, not static. So it will always shift and adjust. Just keep yourself happy in both areas as much as you can!
Thank you xx…..(I also have the Moon in Gate 15; both Uranus’ in 7; and Im a Man/Gen 1/4 Cross of Planning)……Balance is my entire life’s lesson….when it comes to my various tribes I seem disciplined, committed, reliable…with myself Im happy throwing it all away…so I guess that is my balance…The balance of extremes…Work hard, lazy hard 🙄